Friday, April 30, 2010
Thoughts running through my head, like a McFlurry.
Lots of thoughts right now, tis' is gonna be a long post.
I'm an unconventional introvert. I'm introverted by nature, really. I'm shy around new people. I can't strike up a fresh conversation. I'm a listener more than a talker cus I believe we evolved (no religion whatnot here) to have 2 ears on our sides of our heads for a reason, and not 2 mouths. I enjoy solitude. I like to do me-stuffs. I enjoy walking alone, long quiet walks with my head drowned in any form of music, classical to jazz, metal to mandopop. I enjoy staying home on weekends, actually.
But some people feel otherwise. They think I'm this crazy cursing muthafucker. They think I'm an extrovert. They think that I don't think. Well, if I appear this way to you, congratulations, 'cus you're inducted into Harris' hall of fame. You're now a close friend to me now. You're grouped under 'small bunch of friends an introvert likes hanging out with'. Good for you.
I don't like to do things I'm not good at. I'm egoistic. I don't play basketball cus I suck at it. I don't play games when people are looking. I seek to impress. I don't play my bass in front of people cus I think I'm not good enough. I don't run with people cus I'm afraid they'll talk about my pacing, my speed, my breathing. I'm that weird a person.
And there's a difference between narcissism and high self-esteem. Reading a book, The Ego Boom, and it analyses this fact very well. How the advertising sector is making use of this point, and marketing stuffs to you to make you feel good about yourself.
Talking about the advertising sector. It's one of those places where I would like to go venture in. Hmm just a thought, attempting to make it a reality.
I've always wanted to travel the world with a camera. This has been the longest aspirations I've ever had. But,
1) I first, need a camera.
2) I need the time+money to do so. Okay, I may get a job that allows me to travel and travel. That's where my idea as a freelance journalist/writer came from, but also. The money factor is huge.
Oh man, so much for getting away and roaming the world. May my dreams come true one day.
Liverpool lost to Atletico last night. It really evoked strong emotions in me. The fact that I was almost on the verge of bursting into tears after I heard the results, and a friend next to me commented "You got bet soccer one meh? Never bet soccer you watch until like that for what", it almost made me kill him on the spot. Like seriously. Don't you understand, I've been watching and rooting for this team for almost 10 years. It's grown onto me. I refer to Liverpool as a We, not Them. I've seen Gerrard grow from a kid, to an influential Captain. I've seen players come and go. I've seen managers change. I've seen the gloriest moments of comebacks for cup wins. I've seen them throttle heavyweight teams. It's really affecting. Don't you dare mention anything like this ever again.
I miss life.
