And here I am,
posted officially to 30SCE/HQ, out of Alpha.
Yknow the feeling you get when you spend a good 3 months with this bunch of people,
whom you may think are just a bunch of real suckers at the start,
but slowly realising how cool they really are,
and how they might actually be your future bestest buds,
and how you want to spend more time together with them 'cus you can feel that he's gna be the next person you can call brutha.
And suddenly it all just ends there. You get separated out, all alone, seeing how they are able to continue their journey together as a bunch of bros. While you, are just alone now, having to restart everything, meeting new people,
and trying to develop that feeling all over again.
I hated it when we got separated from my first 3 months class. And now again.
HQ, has its (little bit of)benefits though.
A typical HQ schedule :
0630 Wake-up
0700 Breakfast
0700-0930 Sleep
0930-1130 Office
1130-1330 Lunch + Sleep
1330-1700 Office
1700-0630(next day) SLEEPEveryone here is NUA.
Okay I get to book out early,
I get lots of free time,
I get lots of privileges now(PSP, charger, iPod, civilian book-in, 1700 book out, 2230 book-ins),
but so what if I'm doing all these alone.
Over at alpha, whenever I see them chiongsua, and afterwards bitching about how their day went, how this this this sergeant kaopeh kaopeh, I get so jealous. and nostalgic. and sad, in fact.
Over here there's no chiongsua, no sergeant, no nothing.
Nothing to talk about.
"and since you got so much time on your hands, and complaining about how you have no friends over here, why not just spend the time making new friends?"Yeah right, try doing so when >half of the people are stay out due to either some fcked up reason or some chaokeng reason. the other half are some no-lifers who glue their eyes to their PSPs like there's no other meaning to life.
I really do not want to see myself slowly turning into those kind of people in another 17months.
They say NS changes boys to men.
They say you find your bestest buds in NS.
When you're not doing admin stuffs like these.
I see no evidence of that change happening here. In this place. Where no evolution of boys to men are noticed. Where no brotherhood is formed. Where no bunch of men have fun, going through thick and thin together.
Even today went I had an off pass to go out for an appointment.
Whenever my doct asks me whether I want an MC for the day, I would reply no almost immediately.
Why get an MC and risk all the RT shit when it's kinda awesome spending time in camp, talking cock with your bestest buds of the moment?
Like the other day brandon told me;
'whenever i go for an appointment i also would come back rather early. cus its boring all alone outside, and it's cool spending time with you guys anyway. at least i dont feel so empty and lost'oh wells, I took an MC for today, and I said a YES almost immediately when my doct asked that golden question.
It's totally meaningless in camp nowadays.
Or maybe I just need to adjust. Fast.
Oh fuck. Seriously.
