All in all,
and I'm loving every rise and fall.
There was one day I spent the whole morning sitting in bunk alone, from like 7am to 2pm, all goddamn alone. Cus I ain't spposed to draw my rifle so I didn't had to go for the IMT shoot.(whatever the reason, not impt).
Like always, when you just sit down there, all alone, thoughts flow through your head. Acty they don't just flow, they fking gush through. So fast, you have to build that mental dam in between to stop and think about whatever just went through just now. And more often than not it's always the depressing and negative thoughts that get the bigger chunks of attention.
After some time, you would just say okay, this is it, (insert problem and solution here), and think that okay, this would definitely work out, and everything would turn out better.
But hah, ohwell, past experience has shown that in that semi-depressed state, one's body, mind and soul are 3 different embodiments and our decisions are more often than not totally cui lol.
and I realised that fact again now.
Anyways, it's pretty much depressing that I would not be able to continue chiongsua with this platoon/company. Ironic ain't it, when I was just complaining about the opposite 2months back when I first posted here.
People always talk about it as the once in a lifetime experience,
Close friendships would be formed,
Just when I finally get enlightened by this platoonmate of mine,
about how we're posted here and there's nothing we can do about it but do our best,
every day talkcock and just make each other laugh, make it a better place to be in,
nullify the suffering during training by telling yourself it's gonna make you harderbetterfasterstronger.
But awman physical limitations' preventing me from achieving all these.
I doubt I'm gonna achieve anything as some clerk rofls.
And no army stories to tell my children next time.
And definitely no sense of achievement at the end of 2 years.
I guess I'm turning elsewhere to look for satisfaction then.
the above just illustrates how fast thoughts gush through one's mind. soon after i'll realise what i typed it all crap, and press the Edit Post button and delete most of the shit here.
Only have 12 hours of bookout today. Even the most optimistic person would still feel a tad frustrated and pissed at this, I'm sure.
Demolitions live firing tomorrow, excited about blowing shit up.
