It's like one of the saddest songs I've ever heard. D:
Prelims so far has been rather bad. I feel like just giving up everything alr. Bullcrap results for prelims still, does nothing but demoralise you further.
Nope, I'm not the kind who is motivated by failure. Like those 'I'm doing so badly, I must do well next time to prove to myself and others what I'm capable of!' I'm just 'ah fck heck liao la. zz' Failure just gets me deeper down the trench (rofl what a loser)
IF I had not chosen this grueling path, IF I had studied harder, IF only there was a second chance.
The big IF in our thoughts just suck. It's all based on the wrong decisions we have made. But no more than a second consideration is put into the fact that, how do you know that it'll be a better choice. We made this dumb and stupid choice and we would have to pull through. We not only want to pull through, we HAVE/NEED to.
Maybe it's cus i have this bunch of emo (real emo yo) friends, I have like many long drafts unpublished. Not really emo but just my take on certain things and that it wouldn't make any difference if posted or not. I just feel better sometimes by all typing some shit out.
And there's those times when I'm all alone at home. And its the bestest time I can ever have. I can fcking sing (i'm not sure if it qualifies though rofl) at the top of my voice. All the emo shit and it does make me feel better. Sometimes I even cry(okay im kidding).
I've never had such a serious take on life before. It's always been a step-by-step kinda thing for me. When things come I'll just accept them, and if they don't then too bad. It's all different now. Grown up, nah I doubt so I'm still looking at things with some kiddo perspective. But I guess I've (slightly) matured a little. It's what they call tough times in life that make you grow. It's scary having the feeling of you're all grown up. The A's will kinda be the last 'kid' thing that I will ever face. Then I'll be entering the society already. Career, managing my own finance, starting my own family. It'll all come very quickly. And how successful they turn out will really, really depend on how I fare for my A's.
(as above, what i meant as bullcrap, those long drafts i never ever posted)
