shit happens.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
  Life's a struggle.

我睁开双眼踏入这个世界
妈妈给我生命现在让我自生自灭
这让我恐惧在我的眼里每个人都戴着面具
回想过去难道生命就是这样延续?
我抽烟抽得我的肺都黑了
就像整个社会被人心笼罩着它也是黑的
我背着宿命的十字架
也渴望power, paper and respect
我想这大概就是human nature
佛家说烦恼即是菩提我暂且不提
我倒是希望能够回到母体
老妈对不起我时常把你气得跺脚
你说你后悔当初没有把我堕掉
每当我放学回家放下那沉重的背包
家里空无一人只残留着你香水的味道
那时我知道你那天晚上又要加班
我打开冰箱拿出微波炉吃冰的晚餐
老爸在凌晨两点钟醉醺醺地回家
我从睡梦中醒来只听到你们在吵架
我没有办法专心面对第二天的考试
老师他不喜欢我我也不喜欢老师
我讨厌穿制服我讨厌学校的制度
我讨厌训导主任的嘴脸讨厌被束缚
that's true
很多人不屑我的态度他们说我太cool
警察不爽我都曾将我逮捕
i don't give a fuck about 人家说什么
他们想说什么就说什么但是他们算什么
没有谁有权利拿他的标准衡量我
主宰是我自己随便人家如何想我还是我
爱钱的女人只给凯子摸
不懂得用保险套的人别嫌孩子多
金钱力量虽大却生不带来死不带走
紧握着双拳的人们何时能松开手?
**life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troubles
everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡...
**life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troubles
everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡...
法庭严肃的空气逼得我快不能呼吸
当时面临着终生监禁的我开始反省
铁栏杆之后又是个截然不同的景象
刑犯们眼神中看不到一点和平的气象
仅有一寸短的铅笔写的是监狱风云
日记上描绘的不是美好的户外风景
自由在他们眼里才是憧憬
放一把自制武器在枕头旁以防随时有人偷袭
有些人怀疑老婆在外偷情
有些人把家人寄来的信件一张一张好好收集
有些人二十四小时几乎在床上休息
有些人精神失常因为受不了打击
三个月如火如荼的漫长等待已过去
出狱后的我得面对三年的缓刑期
这也好一生中第一次感觉到幸福
但生命中的考验何止如此我不清楚
我不知道接下来还有什么会发生
翻开报纸的新闻又是看到放火杀人
还记得某年无意间发现的照片
上面有阿姨对男人施行口交的恶心画面
这简直摧毁了她在我心目中的形象
我无法忘怀照片中那笑容多么淫荡
我抵抗胸口存在着不安及惶恐
我不断听到痛苦的声音在内心怒吼
**life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troubles
everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡...
**life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troubles
everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡...
不论我走到天南不论我走到地北
不论我走到哪都见识到人心的虚伪
it's kinda funny 在人的眼里只有money
外表好像要帮你却只是想帮他自己
笑容可掬的脸后面谁知道是个狼心狗肺
连朋友都能背叛因为只有名利合他口味
她说她爱你的时候讲的是问心无愧
搞不好她爱的是你身后的荣华富贵
你可曾困惑在你身旁谁是敌是友
对你落井下石的可能就是你的挚友
你可曾经历当你最需要帮助的时候
平常跟你称兄道弟的人都突然失踪
亲爱的神伟大的神
你可以怪我想法太过无知但我只是人
我不信人因为人也不信我
不要问我为什么我最多只能告诉你这就是我
生命像海浪一样有时高有时低
你是否告诉自己坚强渡过各种时期
我从命运的天台放眼却看不到星空
漆黑的天空压在头顶使我不得轻松
在我心中找不到一个安静的角落
我不能再沈睡下去良心彷佛在笑我
它在说:有几天几夜老妈曾经为你以泪洗面
老爸他只顾己见希望之火只见熄灭
我接起电话是老爸憔悴的声音
虽没见面却不难想像他当时的神情
刚听完他最近失业的消息
脑海里马上浮现祖母的话警告我一定要争气
我已经放弃所有哭的理由
因为我早就习惯冷漠活在无情的现实里头
人生要如何起头?改变要如何起手?
当活在泥沼中要如何才能金盆洗手?
**life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troubles
everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡...

------
Always thought I belonged to the average band,
cus everyone in my class is like failing and I'm failing also.
Mid years : S S U U U (wtf?)
But I forgot the point that my class is like the lousiest in the cohort.
People getting better grades than me are like the bottom3 in their classes.
Whereas I'm like almost the top 8 or something.
People getting 91% for math, practically A's and B's,
and wtfuck I'm failing all.

I have 4months to decide what I become.
Cus that's all left to my A's.
These 4months will decide what I become in life,
what my social status in the society will be,
and how well my life is gonna be for the next 60years.

I've heard of my seniors getting UUU in prelims,
and how hard they worked for 1month
and they end up with an AABB.
I can't help it but applaud their strong will,
and perseverance.
I'm trying to do this right,
once and for all.

It's that damn hard to get into a damn uni.
And even harder for a course of MY choice.
I want to choose my own course,
I don't want the freaking course to choose me.
--------
Anyway went out with kokboonws ytd
I went to sell my deathnotemanga to this weird guy yesterday.
Had no complaints about meeting in Tampines,
and didn't bother to check whether I dealed him the correct stuffs not.
And didn't speak a word when we met. Lols he's weird.

And anyway walked around,
wanted to play pool but no tables,
then went SAFRA wanted to play bowling,
but a tournament was going on so we couldn't really play.
Then opted for the most enjoyable activity
EAT.
went 85 and had a feast.
And saw junyuan with his sec2 mates.
anyway we ate so much, so fast.
and ended up so damn full.
And talked and talked.
then for some reason wanted a drink, then went 7-11
I thought the 2pokkabottles for $2 promotion thing was still on so i took 2 bottles to the counter.
then the guy said
"2 for $3.60, take 3 for $3 la!"
Then dunno why i ended up buying 3 bottles and finishing them all.

and I agree with junhong that humans are nothing more than just animals.
Or worse.

Life's a struggle
 
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